I think my impression is based on what people want to see in me. Not particularly what I want to put across.
Which I don’t mind because I don’t know how I want people to see me so they may as well figure it out.
Like it or not, the adolescents.. no, all people have a lot to do with firewood in a hot burning red fireplace. Sooner or later you’re going to disintegrate into dust.
Either from your own flame or another log rolling about in that twisted firepit. Where small twigs help big twigs too make literally nothing but smoke dust…. Oh and a little bit of heat!
We just produce more noise then a fireplace.
Traffic drives by everyone’s equal on the town road.
Unless your car splutters and coughs but even then if it’s a bright orange and has wheels you will probably get away with it.
No sense of paranoia on this road unless you see the familiar white and blue protectors.
Trying to drink this too hot coffee while products of this young culture thrust upon this ancient one walk by in an ignorant bliss of the toxic fumes they are breathing in.
Waiting for my friend to pick me up in this concrete haven called a home town a scent of marijuana wafts by innocently making everyone want to try it at least once. Hell everyone in this town will try it more then once.
I’m helping my friend try and make more money because he isn’t already comfortable enough. He just wants to break on through too the other side, thanks Morrison for that input.
But he’s taking his damn time and I’m starting to wish I had that horrendous drug or at least something too cure this intense boredom that can only come from waiting and listening to an album you feel like you’ve listened too for a millennia.
Whoop and there’s the dealer.
But he’s in a work shirt?
Could it be that the parasite that has ailed societies progress since he was the ripe age of 15 has a respectable job wearing a bright orange salute to the man>
Could this man’s hiatus mark a change therefore furthering law and order, justice and the black/white ways the system uses as fuel?
Probably not, this man has a child and has responsibilities stronger then the average one.
A packet of cigarettes will cure me. Even though it’s an hour and a half of my working life and probably two days off my living life. Hopefully I’m working for those days. While I’m sitting outside the main hub, the concrete palace, bleak, the outlook of my old age seems bleak.
No one made this happen.
What is this scrawl? What god designed this fate?
Woke up by the urge of water, a soft hangover and the creeping sound of an unnecessarily revved CBR250. I stumble through a catastrophe of words with my downstairs beanbag friend and decide to get up with the day, While he decides to move 5 inches too the couch. His lack of energy isn’t astounding anyone who loses doesn’t have much real energy and boy oh boy he lost enough to set a new milestone and he wasn’t even gambling
Ahhhhh the yellow blur and these sunglasses aren’t strong enough. They should just black out this world at least while I’m having a sunshine garden nap.
I’m not sure if this wine’s bad or off.
It doesn’t matter it’s all gone.
I have never felt so bad about being broke.
I don’t care what those penniless vagabonds say money creates opportunity and especially for the bored. Opportunities I would thrive on right now. And right now I can only think about myself and that last $5 dollar note which has suddenly disappeared. The paranoia of a poor hungover man can rival a junkie. This week was a ruthless blur encompassed around little success and a throng of disappointment. Mannn this life has so many blessings but I can’t figure out how to tap them. Something terrible happened to my mind, I can’t even relax. This has to have something to do with annoying friends and chosen solitude. Not that it was chosen my bank account saw to that.
I need to find something well I’ll probably get high and hang out with an old friend.
There’s the fizz of Nicotine & caffeine, two combined after nearly a week of withdrawal you can feel like an addict.
If my whole day was spent feeling this sensation I would have to be in some sort of drastic heaven.
I wouldn’t be happy but I definitely wouldn’t be sad. Maybe an escalated acceptance.
Now I want a beer.
Randy! You ever read dogs of war man? I remember lying on his bed in a drug haze feeling out of place but in the right place with my mind bouncing like a whacked out pinball machine while paranoid freaks think I want what they have but all I want is a story, Randy giving cocaine a try for probably the fiftieth time loving life or at least I think so. Get tackled and tackle back barely scoring a point on my best friend.
Remember football always go for the legs.
just one more
As my last coffee and my second cigarette closes to a finish I wish I could keep indulging, thoughts rush in on this easy blue and green morning and I’m glad I have these sunglasses.
So what does your smile really look like?
Absolutely devastated that my coffee is no more. When my thoughts are empty and nothing is happening my life forgets everything a fucked up forced meditation. I’m scared of school today So I’m going in early.
Making noise with half a carton and a bottle of sake.
With the afternoon off and a mild hangover the urge to do anything is there just suppressed slightly by the excellent feeling of being by yourself and listening to a new album,
Lifes great and goals can be overwhelming but whats a challenge if its not challenging.
This place would be so quiet if it wasn’t for my speakers, the drunk mums and this excellent bike.
no name just a little bit of shame.
When your so drunk your standards drop lower then your shoes and you hit on anything that moves. The cocaine you hit aides your cause further and the fifty year old druggo can look like a super model and your pants grow tighter and your boots grow bigger.
This hustle and bustle a main street tustle
Walking like you don’t have it mapped out like the world.
An easy stroll without any sense of time no bounadries no lines, a simple time.
being alone simply aloneness in itself I don’t really know
and it seems people with nothing are alone, there’s a man struggling with alcoholism alone there’s a boy a teen a man alone I don’t really know.
Miss a call and a couple more the noise is ever constant
I don’t think this cigarette will stay lit but no flame will.
easy going tough time to fill these lines with false epiphanies and empty thoughts driving forever driving ceaseless driving thoughts kniving into the backbone my backbone, burning fingers itching to. Move.
I want, I want, I want I ain’t got a plan and it’s alright at least for a few days. Today the sun the heat is scorching this senseless beat continually searching
I have a story
Searching continually searching for glory.
Drinking poison like an elixir while times ticking and we’re all mixing more, we’re all mixing creating this big gobbledy gelatinous giant without arms or legs incapacitated and with no clear thought.
The process is swift but we don’t think so, it won’t hurt a bit and in your eyes and mine it couldn’t go any slower it’s so painful this bliss, it’s hurting.
Snort Snort Snorting to make up for something big we all lost years ago.
Quick! Cover it. Change it. No one maybe someone wants to see it.
And we don’t even know what it is!
Luck maybe some out of this world incomprehensible fortune will find it’s way to this groundly soil.
And celebrations for decades will continue too grow and grow and find it’s way all the way up our fractured spine and sort our thought process because it’s swift and light and shattered with no single comprehensible clear thought.
Scuttle Scuttle Scuttle
I wonder if the creatures in the bushes are aware of this main street tustle.
A smile and A wave will sort this heavy bone apart.
And the gods of Asgard, Olympus and any in this Universe might frown.
Or just accept because if they don’t like it, Why, Oh, Why did they create it!
Why would they create it?
So Why would they forsake with a frown?
You don’t know, no one does, so don’t even think of listening with an apt ear. The sheer delight we get when will is done and punishment is made. A sickening relentless force embellishing in the wrong doings and goings of others.
As long as it’s not me or you or another.
Quick change it, hide it! Faster, Faster like a lover!
Here’s an idea get a mask cover your Mouth, So no one can see your words Point your forehead South. Humbleise forget and baptize yourself in humanity bring yourself closer too a truer form face the scorn and be torn, ripped broken into a million open pieces.
Don’t become a disabled giant. Maybe an easy thing to say but is it really an easy thing to do?
We can make out alive. Alive! Or dead. Who knows because maybe it’s literally all been said. Alive or dead, how has it been saying?
all hindering or pushing or staying, you know this giant enigma can roll. We can roll!
Movement beautifully made movement, A not so glorious effort at making progress. But progress nonetheless.
And water oh water it will keep dripping making sounds probably lost but always there, WATCH OUT! It’s there Always there trailing off like my thoughts the very strange image of comprehension addles components creating constant confusion.
just like bottled Charm