The intricate dealings of money.

How to ask for money without losing dignity.

First, you shave your hair if you have any.
Then you strip off all your clothes.
You walk around in sentences mumbling something incoherent and clapping above your head.

How to ask for money for someone else without losing any dignity.

Badger.
Keep on their case till either you, or they, die.

How to ask for money from a dead person.

Jump up and down on their grave and yell.
This is particularly effective if it is right after a funeral.

How to receive money, not spend it, try to give it back, then realise it has gone missing.

Keep quiet.

How to ask for money from a child.

Tell them they owe it to you.

How to ask for money from an adult.

Tell them that you deserve it.

How to ask for money from an elderly human.

Work or cry.

How to backpedal when asked for money.

First, you shave your hair if you have any.
Then you strip off all your clothes.
You walk around in sentences mumbling something incoherent and clapping above your head.
let them badger.
Let them keep on their case till either you, or they, die
Let them jump up and down and yell.
This is particularly effective if it is right after a funeral
Still, keep quiet.
Tell them they owe it to you.
Tell them that you deserve it.
Work or cry.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s